Be aware of this. I had a lucky escape.

I walked into B&Q at lunchtime and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.

Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.

Another one gone.

My daughter's fifth friend has died.

He was eighteen a couple of days ago. This one died of cancer. The other 4 in 3 car crashes.

This is not right.

When I was a kid grandparents died - not your school friends. And certainly not at this rate.

This is the shires not a war zone.

Auld Lang Syne

Bit effing late - I know, but I really like this bluegrass banjo bloke, even though he looks like Dave in the Royle Family! Happy New Year!



This is still genius though, innit?



But these three have got to be smart arses!

England and Scotland: a disunited kingdom

Not wishing to say I told you so, but I did actually tell you so.

"A majority of voters in both Scotland and England want the countries to split.

Failing that, both think England should have a Parliament of its own deciding on English affairs without any involvement of Scottish MPs.

The poll findings demonstrate deep and potentially fatal cracks in the 300-year union of the two countries, and threaten to present Gordon Brown with a constitutional crisis if he becomes Prime Minister.

In a further blow to Mr Brown, a majority in both countries want him to call an election within a year of coming to power, to secure his own mandate from the voters. "

Tony Blair is a tit!

From The Mail

Pimp my Ride!

Yeah well I couldn't resist...

There are other ways to be hanged...

One shouldn't laugh...

The real thing isn't so funny.

Please don't hit the play button unless you understand that you will see the actual execution.

I can't believe that it's just the poor quality of the video that makes this so medieval - it's like something from the Inquisition...