Brown's Conference Speech
My live commentary:
Yeah mate if you wanted to do something for the country you love you should have stayed in Scotland!
Hard working families #1 and counting...
The rock of stability and fairness
Pro market party
Hard work effort and enterprise
Not to provide everything but to enable everyone...
Has he joined the conservative party?
Investment in coal? OMG he's going to reopen the mines!!!!!
Value hard work effort and enterprise #2
The party of Law and order.
Security and dignity for pensioners (going for the blue rinses?)
The party of the family.
He HAS joined the Conservative party!
3 million more people are in work, yes, but they're all Polish!
Oh it's Labour's NHS is it?
One life, one family, one vote at a time (that would be Disraeli's One Nation Tories then!)
Do unto others? (oh purleese!!! He's nicked JCs script now!)
Hard work effort and enterprise #3
Enshrine in the law of the land Labour's pledge to end child poverty. (Not sure how that works)
Read write and count (adding and subtracting are perhaps a bridge too far?)
Families who can't afford to buy food in Sainsburys will have access to cheap food on e-Bay!
The NHS saved my good eye too! It's a miracle!
Free check ups for the over 40s? Don't we have free GP access now?
NHS available to all and personal to each. (I am sooo relieved my doctor won't be treating someone else's itchy parts during my appointment!)
Staying in your own home longer apparently ensures 'greater protection against the cost of care'. No shit Sherlock!(But no free personal care for the English like the Scots then?)
A Victims Tsar! Just what we need!
Punishment where the public can see it? Chain gangs? Stocks?
Votes for Working Men and Women? Now he's claiming them a century late? Surely this is scraping the bottom of the barrel?
Labour, the party protecting homeowners? yeah right!
Yes Tory public spending cuts - that's what we want!!!!
Hard working families #2
Don't start me on the iniquities of the EMA!
Now he's claiming credit for the not being broken by Fascists! Yes yes Gordie - it's your Dunkirk spirit - la la la...
You believe in Scotland mate not Britain. Oh right you'll complete the process of devolution in Northern Ireland will you? What about England??????
By all means bring democracy to Zimbabwe and Darfur but bring it here too!
Ask the people what they want about the EU, Scotland and the democratic deficit - the democratic answer will be so unpalatable that none of the turkeys will ever put Christmas to the vote!
United we are a great movement? Well that says it all! A great big poop!