Thursday, January 19, 2006

BBC World Cup Guidelines for commentary team

1 - Within 1 minute of kick off in the opening match (whoever is playing), the commentator must mention England.

2 - Regardless of what two teams are contesting the final, England have to be mentioned within the first minute.

3 - The commentator shall refer to the Falkland Islands in passing at some point during the England v Argentina match.

4 - Whenever a hat trick is scored, comparisons with Geoff Hurst will be made within seconds of the third goal hitting the net.

5 - Should England wear their red jerseys, then '1966' should be mentioned approximately 20 times.

6 - 1966 will be mentioned approximately 10 times a match,or only on 4 or 5 occasions for matches not involving England.

7 - Prior to the captain of the winning team lifting the trophy, the commentator will mention Bobby Moore. And 1966.

8 - When Germany are playing, they must be referred to as
being arrogant by the commentator on at least 14 occasions. This must refer to their style, their passing, their haircuts and their general footballing ability..

9 - Should England play Germany, mentions of Winston Churchill, Dambusters, The Luftwaffe and Adolf Hitler will be compulsory. And 1966.

10 - All Scottish members of our commentary team must continue to refer to England as "we" and "us".

11 - We must ensure that nationalistic stereotypes are adhered to. Of course, the Germans are arrogant. The Spanish are bottlers, The Nigerians are fast but bad at defending, The Cameroonians are disorganised, The Argentinians are cheats and the French are only good because their best players play in England.

12 - For matches not involving England, we must only discuss the players that are playing in England.

13 - The mythical "bulldog spirit" phrase should be used as often as possible.

14 - Each match involving England should begin with the phrase "England Expects."

15 - Should any player be involved in an injury that involves the loss of teeth, then references to Nobby Stiles and 1966 are compulsory.

16 - If in doubt, mention 1966.

17 - Slag off all the stadia in Germany, as faulty, but emphasise that they lack the presence of Wembley, the spiritual home of football since 1966.

18 - Commentators should feel free to imitate the style of Kenneth Wolstenholme, the hero of 1966.

19 - Should any team feature brothers playing together, then Jackie and Bobby Charlton should be mentioned.

20 - When England bow out after the first stage, we must emphasise that it is a massive blow to football and a serious loss to the World Cup.

Category: Football_


Blogger Lucy said...

Jez, are football commentators really *that* old!

Thu Jan 19, 08:32:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Lightning said...

10 - All Scottish members of our commentary team must continue to refer to England as "we" and "us".

In your dreams maybe!!

Thu Jan 19, 08:40:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Lucy sweetheart - I remember World Cup Willy! I had a little toy...Oh god I wish I hadn't started this...

Because for the World Cup in 66 I was four!

By the time I got to Prep School at seven I still had little World Cup Willy toys....

This is getting worse!

Thu Jan 19, 08:59:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Sarnia said...

Hello Gavin - have NO idea how to activate "Sarnian Thoughts". Anyway - who on earth would want to hear them?

Fri Jan 20, 12:08:00 AM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said...

What is the problem Sarnia?

I was 4 as well Gav...but don't remember any of it.

They may think your post is a joke but it's at least 90% true...bets are being laid.

You had world cup willY? this could get interesting...

Fri Jan 20, 08:24:00 AM GMT  
Blogger Sarnia said...

My problem, Span? My problem is that I am an idiot!

Thanks for helpful info though - will trawl through later and see if I can achieve anything. Fingers' crossed!

Fri Jan 20, 10:19:00 AM GMT  
Blogger IsobelMagsBuchan said...

Sarnia, if I can do it, anyone can. Now get to it. We should start a blog book club :-)

PS Is anyone else getting really pished orf with the ever increasing length of the word verification thingie?

PPS Sarnia, I am bloody miffed, you don't comment on my blog. What's up? Am I not upmarket enough for you Sepictankers?

Fri Jan 20, 11:25:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Mags, I've had to beg her on the MB to comment here!

Sarnia, don't be such a numpty. Click on the Blogger icon on any of our blogs - sign in an follow the destructions.

Stop being so bloody blonde!

Sat Jan 21, 01:46:00 AM GMT  
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Sat May 13, 10:53:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger backcare said...

Thank you for your blogger about world cup.As a big fans of football,I’d like exchange information with you.
Motto of different country FIFA2006 world cup team
1.We are football Germany on the road to gold Netherlands
3.Liberte,Egalite,Jules Rimet France
4.Never-ending legend,united Korea
5.2006,It's Swiss o'clock
6.A passion to win and a thirst to succeed country
7.angola lead the way,our team is our people
8.get up,argentina are on the move
9.australia's socceroos-bound for glory
10.vehicle monitored by 180 million brazilian hearts
11.our army is the team,our weapon is the ball,let's get to germany and give it our all Costarica
12.ecuador my life,football my passion,the cup my goal
13.come on the elephants!win the cup in style country nation,one trophy,eleven lions ENGLAND
15.go black stars,the stars of our world Ghana
16.stars of Persia pride,italy in our hearts
18.light up your samurai spirit Japan the finals with fire in our hearts Croatia
20.aztec passion across the world
21.from the heart of america...this is the guarani spirit
22.white and red,dangerous and brave Poland
23.with a flag in the window and a nation on the pitch,forca Portugal
24.the green hawks cannot be stopped Saudi Arabia
25.fight!show spirit!come on!you have the support of everyone Sweden
26.for the love of the game country
27.spain,one country,one goal
28 with our support,ukraine cannot fail to win come the soca warriors-the fighting spirit of the Caribbean
30.belief and a lion's strength,for victory and our fans Czech
31.the carthage eagles...higher and stronger than evercountry
32.united we play,united we winUNITED STATE
Dr Han(football fans)

Fri May 19, 11:43:00 AM GMT+1  

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