Nu Holiday Regulations

This will be the last year in which children get free presents from Santa. As from December 2006, the government is planning to introduce a system of loans whereby children will eventually have to pay back all the money spent on toys and games that generations of kids have always taken for granted. This will only apply to English children, Scottish ones will be subsidised by English taxpayers.

It is estimated that by the time the average English child goes to secondary school, he or she will owe Father Christmas approximately £10,000. The government has defended these so-called "Santa loans", pointing out that they will be at a low rate of interest and there will be exemptions for children from poorer families.

Children in the capital will be particularly badly hit following a ruling that Santa's sleigh will not be exempt from the congestion charge, which transport groups say will inevitably be passed on to the kids, or "customers" as they are now known.

Last year a misguided attempt to get Santa off his sleigh and on to public transport backfired when he spent the whole of Christmas Eve stuck in a tunnel on the Underground with a load of drunken office workers in nylon Santa hats. Many of them were later sued for having unofficial Santa merchandise.

The traditions of Christmas have always changed to reflect the spirit of the age, but this will in fact be the last year that there will be any Father Christmas, any presents, any days off work or indeed any peace for all mankind.

But hey, Happy Christmas anyway!

Categories: Daft PC Crap_, England_, Jokes_