Monday, December 19, 2005

Nu Holiday Regulations


This will be the last year in which children get free presents from Santa. As from December 2006, the government is planning to introduce a system of loans whereby children will eventually have to pay back all the money spent on toys and games that generations of kids have always taken for granted. This will only apply to English children, Scottish ones will be subsidised by English taxpayers.

It is estimated that by the time the average English child goes to secondary school, he or she will owe Father Christmas approximately £10,000. The government has defended these so-called "Santa loans", pointing out that they will be at a low rate of interest and there will be exemptions for children from poorer families.

Children in the capital will be particularly badly hit following a ruling that Santa's sleigh will not be exempt from the congestion charge, which transport groups say will inevitably be passed on to the kids, or "customers" as they are now known.

Last year a misguided attempt to get Santa off his sleigh and on to public transport backfired when he spent the whole of Christmas Eve stuck in a tunnel on the Underground with a load of drunken office workers in nylon Santa hats. Many of them were later sued for having unofficial Santa merchandise.

The traditions of Christmas have always changed to reflect the spirit of the age, but this will in fact be the last year that there will be any Father Christmas, any presents, any days off work or indeed any peace for all mankind.

But hey, Happy Christmas anyway!

Categories: Daft PC Crap_, England_, Jokes_

9 Comments:

Blogger flyingfinn said...

lol. If you go to Rovaniemi, Finland, you can get a present from the official Farther Christmas, for a small fee of 9,99€. ;-)

Mon Dec 19, 07:39:00 PM GMT  
Blogger IsobelMagsBuchan said...

Don't Gavin! It reads too much like university top up fees and loans, which are already giving me nightmares despite the fact that they are still years away.

Mon Dec 19, 11:18:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said...

Go and see the film about Luther...explains it all wonderfully!...in a 'Catholic Church' sense that is

Church...sense...is that an oxymoron?

Tue Dec 20, 12:39:00 AM GMT  
Blogger IsobelMagsBuchan said...

I know all about Luther and the faeces he nailed to the doors. I had to write a bloody essay on the bounder and how he betrayed the ordinary peasant. I recall I was graded a 1 for it, not that I'm boasting or anything......

Tue Dec 20, 09:04:00 AM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said...

Mags...is that grade 1 a 1 out of 10?...;-)

Tue Dec 20, 12:05:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Milt Bogs said...

No presents for anyone at all in Bogsville. Santa expired last night at the Tandoori & Balti restaurant.

Tue Dec 20, 12:08:00 PM GMT  
Blogger IsobelMagsBuchan said...

Span, I shall be chastising you later. You know damn well what the 1 was. I shall be hanging something that belongs to you, other than faeces to a door near you soon!

Tue Dec 20, 01:23:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Mags don't chastise him for heaven's sake! He'll think all his Christmases have come at once!

And yes the top up fees are painful in this household!

Tue Dec 20, 01:43:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said...

Well Bogsville is an appropriate name of place to die after being in the Balti!

Wed Dec 21, 12:22:00 PM GMT  

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