Wednesday, December 21, 2005

A Further Christmas Restructure

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.

Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.

The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne and environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received unfavourable press.

I am pleased to announce that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole. Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the earlier leak that Rudolph's nose got that way not from the cold, but from substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and never did pull his share of the load", was an unfortunate comment made by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at a time of year when he is known to be under extreme stress.

Category: Jokes_


Anonymous missbonnielass said...

very funny ...
an older tale but still funny
According to the Alaska department of fish and game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer, male reindeer drop theirs at the beginning of winter usually late November to mid December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, every single one of Santa's reindeer from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost .

Wed Dec 21, 09:35:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said...

hahahaha...yes indeed missbonnielass, but only a real man would have 8 females at his beck and call!!!!

Wed Dec 21, 11:20:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said... only mention 5 Gavin...that's asking for trouble!

Rudolph always the 1st... Dasher, Dancer (and hence Prancer) next... Donner and Blitzen...but what of the others...?

I know without looking...;-)

Wed Dec 21, 11:26:00 PM GMT  
Blogger IsobelMagsBuchan said...

You keep flashing that smart arse Span and you WILL get spots.

Wed Dec 21, 11:45:00 PM GMT  

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