Tuesday, November 08, 2005

London's Finest


An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.

After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with big, stately residences... no pubs, no shops, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC CONVENIENCES.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness's. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you like."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"

"No sir...", replied the bobby, "...that is what we call the French Embassy."

Category: Jokes_

11 Comments:

Blogger kats said...

lol, thanks for visiting my blog - I quite like yours too.

I am also insanely jealous of the sword and even more so of the wolf.

Kats:0)

Tue Nov 08, 04:23:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Span (Ows Blog) very kindly emailed me the code for the sword. He got it from http://geocities.com/mouthysup/ you just paste it anywhere in the template between the body tags.

Thanks for the faintish praise! I'm easily pleased! :-).

Tue Nov 08, 04:28:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Six Years Late said...

Lol. It's a goodie Gav.

Wed Nov 09, 09:51:00 AM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said...

hahaha...nice one Gavin!

A wee piss-taking tale if ever I heard one.

Wed Nov 09, 06:23:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Span Ows said...

P.S....really glad you like the sword...and thanks for your 'honest' crediting of me!...

....thinks...bugger..why didn't I keep the sword?!

Wed Nov 09, 06:24:00 PM GMT  
Blogger David Citizen of the world said...

A goodie Gavin

i have finally put some stuff on mine now.

Wed Nov 09, 06:38:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Clearly I should stick to the jokes!

Welcome back Citizen! Long time no see! I'll visit.

Wed Nov 09, 08:06:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Span - because I post about medieval weapons and you post about food!

Wed Nov 09, 08:16:00 PM GMT  
Anonymous revinkevin said...

That was very funny.

I must remember that and tell it myself.

Fri Nov 11, 09:24:00 PM GMT  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Do so Kevin - with my compliments!

Fri Nov 11, 10:42:00 PM GMT  
Anonymous revinkevin said...

Thanks will do.

Mon Nov 14, 09:13:00 PM GMT  

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