Wednesday, June 27, 2007

"Goodbye. I don't think we'll miss you."

Mrs Blair, never noted for being the shy retiring type, has today been pilloried for being a Silly Gobby Mare again on the steps of Number 10. Well, bless her it was her last chance!And a thread to that effect appeared on the 5Live Message Board which for reasons unknown dissolved into verse.

While I am unversed (ho ho ho!)in the subtleties of Haiku (I don't think we had those when I were a lad) I was delighted to be invested as Poet Lorry commuted to Poet Lolly (for my native tongue).


Farewell to Mrs C Blair
(She, of the flyaway hair
And a mouth like a slot
Which says such a lot
Unwisely, some say, to be fair).

With a mouth that begs for a letter,
Mrs Blair should really know better,
Than to open her gob
In front of a mob,
All of whom are just out to get her.

Poet Lolly is speaking in tongues
So draw a deep breath in your lungs
And shout from the rooves
The disturbing truths
Of peerages dished out for bungs!

I'm using the lingua franca
To find a word after which we all hanker.
Poet Lolly can't be licked
With rhymes that are nicked
From the dark side of the mind of a banker.

Now that Number Ten has a new occupant,
I think it's about time that we learnt
How the English feel really
About taxes costing us dearly
(And pulling this post took some front!)

(Cheeky moderators thought that jock, unelected and runt should not be coupled! Obviously a better rhyme springs to mind, but I refrained from that one as in banker above...)

For a mandate Brown just hasn't got
(Reserved matters come to not a lot)
For if the whole of Kirkcaldy
Were to vote as a body,
They could influence Brown not a jot.

He can't talk on health, education or training
Nor farming or fishing (even when it is raining )
Not housing or planning, the police or the law
Nor aspects of transport, the buses, or sport.
It's because they're devolved
That Brown can't be involved
He must interfere in our affairs never more!

I've done another verse I'm afraid I can't help myself, sorry...

"Goodbye. I don't think we'll miss you."
Forgive me while I weep in a tissue.
For she is a Blair
Who has never had a care
'Cos democracy's not been a real issue.


Anonymous revinkevin said...

Nice I really like that.

C Blair no class at all.

Wed Jun 27, 07:34:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

The Shed wrote a realy good rap,

"Oh Cherie Booth,
With your skin so smooth,
You've nothing left to prove,
For we all approve
Of the way you move.
But to tell the truth,
If your name was Ruth,
You'd be Ruth Booth,
Which would be uncouth."

But I can't do rap....

Wed Jun 27, 07:36:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Curmy said...

Very good Gav, I suspect Sarah Brown is the type to keep her mouth shut !

Wed Jun 27, 09:28:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Span Ows said...

Gavin...excellent! (Bill and Ted air guitar...) Very good prose young man. I must go and see the thread.

curmy...born cynic that I am I think the Sarah Brown (kids and all) are a sham and part of the con)...sorry to those offended by this gross cynicism but that's the way I see it. He didn't want to marry (IMHO) but could never be PM if he didn't.

Fri Jun 29, 11:40:00 AM GMT+1  
Blogger Paul said...

Well done Gavin.

I'm sure Span thinks Gordy is gay, a sort of Gay Gordon with all these insinuations (sp?). Not all men with moustaches are gay, whatever Village People may have impressed on you Span!

Sat Jun 30, 02:09:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Curmy said...

Span I'd wondered that about their marriage as well !

Sat Jun 30, 08:59:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Les Paul Junior said...


You're not the first one I've come across who holds that particular view of "The Lying Scotsman".

Sun Jul 01, 02:25:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Sarnia said...

I agree with Span. Also - remember that Sarah Brown was a PR woman before - it's all an act.

Tue Jul 03, 11:28:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Ed - The Music Man said...

Hey! Love it! May I come up with a melody? Ed - The Music Man

Wed Jul 25, 03:48:00 PM GMT+1  

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