Friday, October 14, 2005

Ejaculated on by the bratwurst

That got your attention!

Last night I was preparing a bean casserole of which the key ingredient (apart from the beans of course) is frankfurters or bratwurst. They come in jars. (Oh dear this is really going downhill...) Anyway I opened the lid and no word of a lie, the brine leapt out of the jar, spurted right up to my chin, down my chest, and splashed my feet. It positively ejaculated all over me. Then the cat comes and starts licking my toes like a demented nympomaniac. Except he's a chap cat. He was possessed! Mad for it!

So there you have it, gentlemen (or ladies, equal opps and all that, whatever cooks your goose...) if you want to attract pussy, douse yourself liberally in bratwurst brine. Splash it all over!


Blogger ChrisWoznitza said...

Hi I´m Chris. Greatings from Germany Bottrop !!

Fri Oct 14, 11:30:00 AM GMT+1  
Blogger Six Years Late said...

Herr Skum wasn't round was he? I wouldn't be surprised i he didn' knock the bottom of the jar while you weren't looking

Fri Oct 14, 12:01:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

I wonder what Bottrop means...?

Skummy in my house, good god man! Be serious! We all hide behind the sofa when he comes round...

Fri Oct 14, 12:07:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Span Ows said...

you are naughty... call that cooking!...;-)

Fri Oct 14, 06:00:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Span Ows said...

...actually I love bean there any left?

...but would it be much better than a salty sausage swallowed by a pussy?

Lower the tone......

and I'll follow you down!

Fri Oct 14, 08:35:00 PM GMT+1  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

I DO call that cooking! Just because I've inadvertantly discovered a cat aphrodisiac that YOU oh great food nutritionist were unaware of!

Anyway the bloody thing just went off in my hand! (The bratwurst not the cat) I'm only telling it like it is.

Sat Oct 15, 12:40:00 AM GMT+1  
Blogger Gavin Corder said...

Yes. A reader! Oh joy. Actually 105 people have viewed my profile...not that there's much there yet...

Sat Oct 15, 12:42:00 AM GMT+1  

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