Ejaculated on by the bratwurst
Last night I was preparing a bean casserole of which the key ingredient (apart from the beans of course) is frankfurters or bratwurst. They come in jars. (Oh dear this is really going downhill...) Anyway I opened the lid and no word of a lie, the brine leapt out of the jar, spurted right up to my chin, down my chest, and splashed my feet. It positively ejaculated all over me. Then the cat comes and starts licking my toes like a demented nympomaniac. Except he's a chap cat. He was possessed! Mad for it!
So there you have it, gentlemen (or ladies, equal opps and all that, whatever cooks your goose...) if you want to attract pussy, douse yourself liberally in bratwurst brine. Splash it all over!